Wellbeing and woo-woo talk

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;

    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;

I don’t know if it’s an age thing, or a just-me thing, but I am getting increasingly eye-rolly at stuff that lands in my in-box.

I receive a tonne of emailed press releases and news notifications a day. Many of them are well-targeted, relevant and of use to me in the day-to-day. Many of them, so very, very many of them, are….not.

Back in the day, when you had to put a stamp on something in order to send it out to a journalist, you made pretty sure that you were sending it to more or less the right person, at the right publication. Things did creep through from time to time of course. Especially when, as BMJ, one shares a media moniker with such an august publication as The British Medical Journal. I’ve seen some very strange press releases over the years. In those days, one just let the sender know you were the wrong target, and you came off the mailing list, eventually.

Now though, it’s becoming increasingly clear that a great many of the releases that hit my inbox are AI generated, and no amount of clicking ‘unsubscribe’ is going to work. A real-life PR executive might worry, with good reasons, about pissing-off a journalist. ‘Olivia’ or whatever name the bot has been given, who is no more than a collection of ones and zeros somewhere in the cloud, really couldn’t care less.

One particular piece that had me eye-rolling for Britain, was about how best to retain employees. Oh, I thought. That sounds interesting. I know that staff retention can be as much of a headache for my readers as staff recruitment. I’ll have a look at that one. Reader, I looked at it so that you didn’t have to.

Merchants. Suppliers. Would you like to have a employee retention superpower? Apparently you need to offer all your employees flexibility. So far, so obvious, and something that most companies in this sector are offering anyway. I looked it up, getting on for 4.4 million UK employees use flexible hours, and 76% of businesses offer some form of flexible working: remote, hybrid, or adjustable start and finish times.

Apparently though, according to something that landed with me a few days ago, that may no longer be sufficient. You need to be offering the opportunity to take ‘sidequests’.

It started on, where else, TikTok, the trend of taking brief departures from main tasks during the workday: walks, creative detours, hobby breaks, or spontaneous activity. Sidequests, I’m told ‘exemplify a desire for flexibility not just in location, but in how time is structured, reflecting a shift away from rigid schedules and towards employee autonomy’.

Some of the suggestions that the release comes up with are: Create micro-flex zones: Dedicate 30–60 minutes mid-day where employees can pursue sidequests like a quick walk, sketching ideas on a whiteboard, or experimenting with a new productivity tool. To my non-HR-trained ear, that sounds awfully like stuff-you could do-on-your-lunchbreak.

Here’s another one – Encourage learning detours: Allow staff to explore short online courses, podcasts, or TED-style videos during sidequest blocks, turning curiosity into professional growth. Or, to put it another way, be open to the idea of your employees continuing to develop, both personally and professionally.

Howabout – Promote wellness breaks: mindfulness exercises, office yoga, or stretching routines: small moves that can reset focus without leaving the workspace entirely. This is important. While I’m not keen on getting my yoga mat out in the middle of the office, recognising that your employees have different needs, both mental and physical, and making efforts to accommodate that is a good thing.

This all sounds as though I’m being blase about the importance of recognising wellbeing in the workplace. I’m not, I’m really not. We all know the importance of reaching out to others, of opening up to others where we can, when we need to. The toll of modern life on mental health is immense for some people, especially, it seems in the construction industry, and statistics bear that out.

What does irritate me is the language that a lot of this sensible stuff is couched in. Why do we have to dress it up in all this woo-woo talk of ‘sidequests’, learning detours, wellness breaks? There has to also be a recognition in all this that the business has needs that have to be met, just as the individuals do. Flexible hours for all only works if it all dovetails. It’s no good everyone wanting to work 9.30 to 5.30, if the business has to open at 7 am to sell stuff to customers.

The best workplaces are those where the symbiotic relationship between the employer and the employed, the business and the customers is recognised, acknowledged and accommodated. Be a good person to work for, a good company to work for, and this stuff should come naturally. Be a good employee, a good person to work with, and the business will continue to, well, stay in business. Hopefully.

None of this is, or should be, hard to grasp. Whether you’re an employer or an employee, try not to be a you-know-what, and treat other people the way you would want yourself and your loved ones to be treated.

In any case, I’ve just listened to the Chancellor’s pre-Budget speech this morning, and quite frankly, we now all have a lot more to worry about than a sidequest to learn pottery.