Psst: got any cement, mate?

The scene: A dark alley, at the rear of a builders merchant yard. Midnight. Somewhere in Britain.

 

One man sits in a dirty white van as another drives up and flashes his lights, twice.

They both get out of their vehicles.

Man 2: Got the stuff? All of it?

Man 1: Most of it. Got the money?

Man 2 (showing an envelope stuffed with cash): Of course. What’s missing?

Man 1: I could only get 10 bags of Bosscrete and five of Manycem. There’s nothing from Denex for a while, but there is a shipment of Konnam coming through at the end of the week though so I can get the rest then.

Man 2: What about the boards?

Man 1: Got you 10 sheets of 12.5mm but there’s no more until the next shipment in two weeks. And the price has gone up. You’ll need to pay double.

Man 2: *expletive*

Man 1: Yeah, I know, mate, but it is what it is. I can only get you the stuff that I can get. I managed to get some ply though if that’s any good to you, and a couple of bags of Nettle LotsaFinish.

Man 2: It’ll have to do. Let’s get this done then.

Both men open the back doors of their respective vans.

Man 1: Give us a hand, it’ll be quicker.

Man 2: (grumbling quietly) yeah, OK.

The two men transfer bags of cement and plaster and sheets of plasterboard and plywood from Man 1’s van to Man 2’s.

Man 1: What’s all this for anyway?

Man 2: Boss wants to finish off a house he started us working on in the first lockdown. Now that house prices have rocketed he wants to sell it as quick as he can.

Man 1: don’t blame him.

They finish transferring the goods.

Man 2, peels off a huge pile of notes: That’s what we agreed, minus what you couldn’t get.

Man 1: It’ll have to do. But don’t forget, you’ll need to pay twice what we agreed for the rest of the cement next week.

Man 2: *expletive* I know it’s not your fault, mate. But my boss isn’t going to be pleased.

Man 1: I’ll WhatsApp you when the next lot comes through. But we may need to meet somewhere else. I don’t want to be seen too often in the same place.

Man 2: Just let me know. See you around.

Man 1: Yeah, see you when I get some more stuff.

Both men get back into their vans and drive off in different directions.

Fade to black

Don’t think this couldn’t happen. Hell, it probably is happening.