Every dog must have its day

Thou callest me a dog before thou hast cause.
But since I am a dog, beware my fangs.

You can usually find a canine equivalent for the personalities of most people, and Prime Ministers are no exception.

Take the three previous incumbents of Number 10 Downing Street, for example. Boris Johnson, an emotionally incontinent golden labrador, bounding enthusiastically through his days, bestowing affection, slobber and bombast willy-nilly on whatever policy he thinks will get people to like him the most.

Rishi Sunak, sleek and polished like a short-haired pointer, sensing the end goal, but preferring to stay stock still, staring rigidly at it, in the hope someone else actually goes and gets it done.

The one in between them, of course, is Liz Truss’ wiry, sandy-haired terrier, so busy chasing its tail that it failed to notice it was heading into a big pile of you-know-what, much of it the responsibility of the labrador. And the pointer, come to think of it.

All this is borne out in the PMs’ various attitudes towards the goal of net zero, of saving the planet, of ‘going green’.

Johnson, the labrador, bounding ahead towards the net zero target, picking it up in his slobbery jaws bringing it closer, effectively banning the use of gas boilers in new homes,and signing the death warrant for the petrol combustion engine. All of it with the effect of forcing people to take on new technology before it, or even they, are ready for it.

Sunak, on the other hand, is taking a far more considered view. He can see the end goal – ‘look there it is, where I’m pointing’ – yet can’t quite bring himself to go and fetch it. Probably fearing that if he does, he risks being banished back to his plush and well-appointed kennel in disgrace, post-election.

Both the labrador and the pointer – sorry, now I’ve started on this, I can’t see them any other way – are right in their own ways. Net zero is a target because it has to be. Climate change is real, it’s affecting us all, right here, right now. Moving towards a target of net zero is one of the ways we can help to mitigate this., We won;t stop it. But we can lessen its impact if we act in the right way now. That means reducing our reliance on fossil fuels for energy. It means using public transport more than we do our motor cars. It means insulating our homes more effectively so we don’t need to use so much of the evil gas. It means finding newer, cleaner ways of providing the energy to run our homes, our businesses, our vehicles and our lives.

I guess it comes down to the difference between forcing people to do the right thing because, well it’s the right thing, and making them want to do the right thing of their own volition. Condensing boilers, after all, only really took off in this country when they became mandatory. Is that the only thing that will work with heat pumps?

Sunak seems to prefer the slower way, ensuring that the population understands the need for new technology, can get on board with it, and can afford to make the changes. However, humans are creatures of habit. Chances are, we won’t change our ways in sufficient numbers to make a real difference without some kind of legal encouragement. Slow and steady or hell-for-leather, that seems to be the choice.

Truss, on the other hand, just ‘knew’ that with growth would come all the other good things, including the green stuff, net zero and economic well-being, as if by magic. If she could just catch that tail, so tantilisingly, maddeningly out of reach.