Water result

a Stygian pool reeking with ineffable and intolerable horrors

I’ve written here before about the review into the water industry conducted by Sir Jon Cunliffe, the former deputy governor of the Bank of England. It is the largest investigation of the water industry since the mad rush for privatisation in the 1980s, and, Sir Jon, who also oversaw the biggest clean-up of Britain’s banking system after the financial crash, is a man who understands the complications involved. As he said in his speech on Monday at the launch of the 460-page report, “there is no one, single reform, no matter how radical, that will deliver what is needed”

 His speech is worth reading in its entirety because it contains, not just a mahoosive amount of sense, but also a clear admission of the limitations and challenges ahead.

In a nutshell tough, the recommendations from the report, if implemented, would see:

• The replacement of the rather toothless Ofwat and the formation of a single regulator for England and one for Wales.
• Independent regional water system planning authorities in England and one national authority in Wales to oversee water investment plans, ensuring not only that local priorities are met and that the convoluted planning processes could be streamlined.
• The establishment of an Ombudsman for Water to give stronger protection to customers and a clearer route to resolving complaints.
• Compulsory water meters, greater water reuse and rainwater harvesting schemes, and stronger environmental regulation.
• The ability to block changes in who owns the water businesses when those changes would not prioritise the long-term interests of the company and customers. As part of this, the commission recommended minimum financial requirement – which happens in the banking sector, hopefully meaning situations where companies – Thames Water, we’re looking at you – head to the brink of collapse – more than once – would cease.
• New laws to address pollutants like forever chemicals and microplastics.
• A fundamental reset of economic regulation – including changes to ensure companies are investing in and maintaining assets to help attract long-term, low-risk investment.
• An ability to intervene before pollution events occur, rather than simply fining the businesses afterwards.
• A long-term, 25-year national water strategy, giving clear strategic direction, published by the English and Welsh governments, with ministerial priorities given to water firms every five years.

All this seems extremely reasonable and sensible. Sir Jon isn’t talking about just sticking a new level of bureaucracy onto an already complicated system, and, crucially, he advises that these changes would link local development to water system investment. Why crucially? Because too many housing development projects are currently being held up because the regional water systems cannot cope with them. That 1.5million homes target needs all the help it can get.

If I mentioned everything in the review we’d be here for ever, but there was also another key point that came out. This isn’t, necessarily, about reducing water bills for households. For too long, Ofwat was encouraged to focus on keeping bills down, and not be overly-regulatory. This, of course, led to instances where water companies and their owners, as Sir Jon puts it “(could) take decisions which reflected their private interests but badly damaged both their companies and in the longer term the public interest.” Let me translate that one for you – allowed owners to trouser the cash and to hell with the consequences.

No, these changes, if implemented, when implemented, won’t be about lowering bills per se, they are far more about ensuring that the vital sector functions properly, efficiently, and that householders get what they pay for.

The system as it stands is broken. Sir Jon thinks it can be mended. Hopefully he is right and that government – this one and the next one – listens.

I can’t leave the headline above without mentioning another result of course. The one from the  Euros 2025 semi-final that sent my blood pressure and heartrate soaring last night, and possibly taught the small children who have moved in next door to me some interesting new words.

Gentle readers, I give you Michelle Agyemang, and Chloe Kelly. We are Lionesses. Hear us roar.